2020 Christmas: not a traditional one

Santa Jokes from Kendric Smith: How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish. What's Santa's favorite type of music? Wrap. Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt. Why does Santa go through the chimney? Because it soots him. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus. How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A "Holly" Davidson. How much did Santa's sleigh cost? Nothing, it was on the house! Why was Santa's little helper so sad? He had low elf-esteem. Who is Santa's least favorite reindeer? Rude-olph. Why did Santa go to the liquor store? He was looking for holiday spirits. What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate Clauses. I dropped a copy of "A Christmas Carol" on my foot. It hurts like the Dickens. We also enjoyed photo take-offs of Elf on a Shelf: goose on a moose, [Star Wars] trooper on a pooper, etc. One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was ready for his Christmas run, but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Santa told her. Thus, began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. My granddaughter, Aubrey (10), and I enjoyed the Santa jokes. She didn't get some, but more than I expected.  All our nearby relatives have tested negative recently, so we got together for Christmas Eve at Aya's house: Aya, Matt, Aubrey, Kaya, Alan, Alyssa Sontag. We had deep fried turkey, which was delicious, and lots of other things added to the oil: green tomatoes, garlic, dill pickles, onion rings, French fries, Brussel sprouts. All turned out quite delicious. We finally got to have a dinner without masks or social distance. Alyssa's parents stopped by, so we finally got to meet them. Hopefully, there was no COVID-19 virus around. Christmas Day we had dinner at 166 Crane: Schaub's Black Steak, mashed potatoes stuffed in orange peel, string beans, beets topped with cheese, snap peas; and for dessert, gluten-free apple pie, grasshopper pie, ice cream. It was a lot of work for Kiyomi, but she seems to enjoy it. Now we are looking forward to a traditional-food Japanese New Year. It's from Japan, specially frozen by a high-tech method.